Advice you never asked for
Advice you never asked for
27 May 2018 • 5 min. read

Advice you never asked for

2800 1867 Robbie Coach

Everyone has an idea of how we should live our lives and solve our problems, but the fact is, they struggle with the same issues themselves and, truth be told, they have no fucking clue what they are talking about.

There is a belief that many people don’t think for themselves but rather just follow existing stereotypes. It’s like that joke, in which the son asks his mom why she cuts off the chicken’s legs before putting it in the oven, and she replies that it’s because the grandma does the same. Later, when he asks grandma the same question she tells him that the oven she used to have was too small for a whole chicken so the legs wouldn’t fit.

Some people are prepared to die for the convictions that are not even their own.

They give opinions based on the stories of neighbours or other relatives who were once told that there was this guy who wanted to fly into space or create an electric car, but it didn’t work out. Seemingly banal, but often people live other people’s lives, fulfilling their dreams. They go to university because everyone does it. They study not what they want, but what is the most profitable and fashionable at the time. Seemingly, they choose a safe life, sailing with the flow of the river. The worst is that they end up with the life they don’t want, but which was a result of all the advice from their loved ones, family, friends or seasonal Youtube stars.

There is a high risk of getting stuck in the life you don’t like, so what is there to lose when risking following the at-first-glance surreal dreams?

Apparently, when we go to school, we are forced to wear our first concrete shoes and it’s there where we find out what we can’t do. That’s where our ideas and diversity get laughed at, and when you don’t dress like the others, you don’t talk like the others and don’t think like the others – no one gives you a high-five. That’s when you begin to socialize. It’s when you find out your style of writing sucks and they teach you the dreadful corporate language which only the paper recycling men can happily and voluntarily receive. As children, we are much more sensitive to the world around us and it is very easy at that stage to kill our dreams and dress us up in concrete shoes.

Sometimes our own parents are against our ideas. Even though they are the people who want the best for us, they might have not updated their software to the realities of today’s world and are still looking through the prism of their life and the much-outdated idea of the world. Back in their days, the need of having a profession and work from 8 to 16 was just as important as the amount of likes out photos get on Facebook today.

Mark Manson in his book wrote “You’re wrong about everything” because something that is good for you will not necessarily be good for others – we all differ in terms of needs. Therefore, there is no one right answer to the question of what is right. As Mark writes, “Many people are so obsessively trying to live properly, that they never have time to live.”

Be careful what you wish for.

I remember this story. There was a boy who dreamed of being an NBA player. He was shorter than other players and he didn’t have as much talent as they did. Usually, the coach asked him to carry bags for his teammates and they, in turn, would make it clear to him that they did not want him in the team. One day, his coach approached him and told him that he wasn’t good enough and would never become a good basketball player.

Fifteen years later, after missing more than a million shots, shedding a million tears and breaking the sweat on the court, this boy became the best NBA basketball player. His name was Michael Jordan. One day, during one of the games he met his former coach and asked him why was he so harsh on him. The coach replied “I knew that if despite my words you still play, it means you really love it. Otherwise, you never had a chance to become this big”.


The problem with the advice you never asked for is that some people just want to cut your wings, they think they know it all, or they are jealous. Some people do it because they love you, worry about you and care about you and have sincere intentions to help you. The trouble is, nobody knows you as well as you know yourself and nobody but you will know what is good for you, therefore an advice is not bad as long as you listen, take it into consideration but ultimately do what your heart dictates.


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