How much of what you see on the outside is hidden underneath? Until you accept who you are and embrace your desires, everything else is worth shit. In my opinion, what counts is a healthy self-esteem, which comes from knowing who we are.
I was born and raised in Poland. My family is not exactly business savy. My parents divorced when I was 3”11′. We lived in a three-room flat with three other families (11 people and two dogs) and at the top of our dreams was to own Commodore 64.
With bruised knees, sand in my hair and wet from summer rain
I was that type of kid who had to take apart every new toy, to figure out how it works. It wasn’t always possible to put them back together afterwards. From the early years I played chess, I was a good tactician, but I was also far from being an eloquent kid, at least when compared to kids nowadays. When I had no point, that’s where the fists came to work, and during those times fights were normal on a daily basis. I never liked hurting others but I always defended my space and because I was one of the strongest boys in the school, there were lots of daredevils which wanted to try me. If we’re talking about me – I was impetuous. I realized that I do not want to be the strongest one anymore. I wanted to be okay with people and treat them the way I would like to be treated. I started to let go, when provoked and focus all my energy on sport – football, basketball and finally cycling which stuck with me for many years and caused me all of my free time.
Youth is guided by impulse
After graduating middle school, I moved out to Channel Islands. I spend most of my time going to school and racing in a cycling team. After two years, I realized that the island doesn’t have much more to offer for a teenager, who wants to explore the whole world. I moved to London. I had briefly been there before and I liked it. I don’t know if I would make such a spontaneous decision again today. When we’re young, we don’t have this fear inside us, nor the wish to gain stability and safety, we do what is prompted by our heart, because youth is often guided by impulse.
Self-reliance starts when you have no one to count on
After moving to London, I didn’t know anyone, I didn’t socialize too much with people from school after classes, because I was insecure about my English skills. I didn’t want people to look at me differently like I’m worse, dumber or couldn’t understand what I was saying. 1600km away I left my girlfriend, my first love. We met when I was on holidays in Poland. Everyday, I spend hours in payphone booths longing after her.
During the first months, loneliness and longing were slowly eating me alive. I was a Castaway, a modern Robinson Crusoe. The nail in the coffin was when I heard a polite „fuck off” from my fellow Polish neighbours, when I wanted to ask them for help, because I shut the keys inside my flat. When I finally got into the apartment, through an open window, I burst into tears overwhelmed with emotions. It’s hard to admit because most of my friends would not expect me to ever cry – probably not even as a baby. The truth is that I cry every time I watch a touching film and when the wind blows in my eyes, but I no longer hide it. I’m not ashamed of my feelings. You can’t fool nature. Every life in this world began with a slap on the ass and tears – same for Donald Trump and Pablo Escobar. Crying is a sign of authenticity, not weakness. In the world of masks and Instagram filters, few people can afford to admit it.
At one particular moment, when I had a long break from school, I packed everything, checked out of the apartment and went back to Poland. Despite the wonderful time I had there with my first love I knew that I could not leave things unfinished. I had a feeling that I need to graduate college. And so I returned to London I have a big tendency to take the line of the greatest resistance. I quickly rent a room the size of a bird feeder and such an unable to use shower, that I had to find something normal fast. I knew, that despite how bad the current moment seems – it’s just a moment. As the time went by, I found better rooms, met more and more people, which helped me find a job. Eventually, I got a job night-time at a warehouse, during the daytime I went to school and spent all my breaks napping in the library.
I was ambitious, so I quickly got a good reputation at work. Though I found out later that on my first day everyone bet that I won’t last long (I was a teenager and the work involved, among other things, heavy lifting). I stayed there until the end of college. I was so efficient that our shifts took only 5-6 hours instead of the usual 8 h so everyone was really happy with me. When I left, everyone gave me hugs and wished me good luck. It felt amazing and it was something I had never experienced before. After my London adventure, I took my girlfriend for a long holiday and then we came back to Poland together.
Return and a glance at everything from a wider perspective.
During this period, a lot of things had happened. I was trying to catch up on my youth with my friends. I worked as a carpenter, bartender, bodyguard, that’s when I met people I never thought I would meet and do things that even as a milliner I could not do. I was a manager of a cycling team and also a driver, this allowed me to visit many cities and countries. I had my own restaurant (I will write about it more in a separate entry – “Owning a business is not for people who are looking for comfort in life“) and imported cars from abroad. As if this wasn’t enough I was also a cage fighter. All this in a random order. Everything I did, was not only associated with greater or lesser successes, but also hundreds of sleepless nights, dozens of sore mistakes, lots of twists and turns, and a series of failures all ending with getting up from the knees and trying again.
First experience with Bitcoin
As a hobby, I’m interested in graphics design. One day I got a paid in Bitcoins for a design I did. Back then I had as much interest in BTC as I would have had in learning maths through Hebrew. I knew nothing about them. However I had food to eat and a roof over my head so I didn’t really need money. That’s why I accepted that unique payment and forgot about it straight away for about a year.
Only later I started researching the topic of cryptocurrencies. With every new piece of information, I got more and more excited. It would have never crossed my mind that they could be as valuable as they are today. I just wanted to be a part of this revolution. The revolution that displaces large corporations, banks and institutions and gives power back to people. I dreamed of the day when I could use bitcoin as a form of payment. I never sold any of my BTC, it was more than money to me and I believed in it. I still believe it is “something better”, regardless of prices and market speculations.
What do I do now.
I wasn’t born with a talent for writing, rather it was from reading books that my desire to create something emerged. Something that could also be of value to others.
A friend to whom I showed my first draft of an e-book (written on my lap) persuaded me to start a blog. I took my first steps in 2016, writing about relationships, business thoughts, inspiring people and life. I didn’t think then that in less than a year I would be followed by over 6k people. It was an unexpected success for me. Especially that I made it difficult for the world to follow with my irregular entries, lack of activity on social media and sometimes long articles. Thanks to this, today I am richer with experience and more aware of the direction in which I want to go.
Many people try to bring me down about my idea to grow this project from Patrons, especially in cryptocurrencies. This is why I put the counter on the home page, so that every time they see another 0.000000001 added, it would be like a small kick in the balls. This is my crazy idea – an idea based on faith in people, an idea that builds a community, even if small but lovely.
– Robbie this is not how you’re supposed to run a blog. There’s a reason why everyone is earing money trough ads.
– I hate ads, so why should I serve them to my followers? I should treat them with respect, and not attack them with banners or sponsored entries persuading them to buy a set of kitchen pots or a penis pump. I can’t imagine participating in such commercialism.
– The whole world is based on commercialism
– The world is going forward, we need to act bravely, because only brave actions created revolutions. If all the media depended on the fans, the quality of content would be much higher because otherwise they would not survive. The media would be forced to respect their viewers and stop treating them like idiots.
I believe in people. I have met both the good and the bad ones. I’ve never had the habit of judging anyone and I believe, that everyone is good deep inside, sometimes we just meet them in really shitty stages of their lives. I have a lot of empathy, I’m also an introvert. I don’t have problems talking to strangers or getting boring parties rolling but when that job is done I like to sit down and watch from the outside, spend time by myself or with someone who is as good at talking as they are at silence.
What is my goal in life?
To be a billionaire.
Pierce Brock in an interview for Tai Lopez said: “A billionaire isn’t someone with a billion dollars. A billionaire is someone who has positively impacted the lives of a billion people.”
Although some people say that life is a sum of breaths, I believe that life is a moment where you’re giving out something extra, especially if you don’t have to.
Thanks for reading! It means the absolute world to me.